Back when I was a kid....

I have been sending money to family in Vietnam since I was a little kid. I remember my grandfather used to send money to relatives once a month. My brother and I would bring a dollar from our piggy banks in and add to the fund. Of course it was hard for us to understand how our two bucks would help, but we did it anyway. When my Dad went "home" a few years ago, Rae-Anne and I sent some money with him (more than a dollar this time). It didn't really register with me how much my few dollars over the years meant to my relatives till my Dad came back with pictures of our family living in houses made of concrete (just 2 of the exterior walls) and sticks (the other 2 exterior walls) and having less furniture than my first apartment. The kids didn't have any toys and not for lead paint fears. I should have known by the way my Dad was always showing me and my brother how to make toys out of scrap wood and rusty nails. There was a picture of 2 guys wheeling dirt to town in a cart, as selling dirt was the only way they had to make money. And I thought I had it hard with blocks made of scrap metal (really did when I was a kid) and working for 6.50 an hour in a convenience store (back in 1996).

T.C. factor

I read my last post and realized that it might sound a bit jerkish of me to say "Fuck'em". I am thinking that I haven't written about one of the most important traits a person can have...The T.C. factor. I strive to be like my brother in his willingness to give of himself wholly and freely to anyone he meets, but especially to his family. If you are helping people for no reason other than to help them and they poop on you that is when it doesn't make you a bad person for letting them know they suck.

Doesn't make you a bad person.

So here's the background story:

This guy I know owns an "apartment building". It is more a house converted to an apartment building, it has "3" apartments. So this guy let 2 of his sisters (one with a husband), two of their kids with their significant others, and their kids kids move in. Oh, I forgot to mention one of his sister's husbands friends moved into an apartment as well. Rent was agreed upon. A few years into it now, and I recently found out that he is in serious financial trouble...........AGAIN! Now do the math, there's like 9 people living in this apartment house. I guess he only gets paid rent regularly by one tenant, and all but one person is family. So back to my point..... this guy was just trying to help his family and they are screwing him. He rarely if ever pays his mortgage on time, and has had to refinance once already. He is nearing foreclosure again and has a genius solution. I think he is getting advice from the crack heads that he "rents" to. He is moving out and into an apartment. You heard me, he is leaving his own house and renting an apartment. He is just going to let the bank foreclose, kill his credit, and move out. I guess that way he won't have to say to his family: "HEY ASS FACES YOU ARE FUCKING ME OVER."

I wanted to share this true story to say that you can tell family members or friends that they are screwing you over. It doesn't make you a bad person if you take care of yourself first. I have found that when I take care of myself I am better prepared to help others. If your friends or family are doing things that screw you over, and you tell them how you feel about what they are doing, and they get mad at you............... Fuck'em, you don't need them. If they can't understand that they are the ones screwing you then are they really going to help you when you need help, or are they just using you? Fuck them, cut them out of your life.

Another inspiring movie

I saw the movie “Empire” (2002) starring John Leguizamo a short while ago. It is a good movie with a spectacular ending. I recommend it to anyone that reads my thoughts as it is very similar to my personal mantra. One of my thoughts on the meaning of life is given in the last scene, in the dying words of the main character:

“Its kind of funny when you think about it. I mean I did some pretty bad things in my life. Broke all of the rules…….hurt a lot of people. But here I was my kid’s life was about to begin. And I had another chance. And I even think that I actually could get away with it. Escape my past. Yeah but that’s not how it works……cause you know that a man’s actions always have their consequences, and deep down I knew that. Maybe what its all about is thinking about someone else instead of yourself all of the time. Maybe that’s what I was always missing. If I can leave something for my son, maybe my life was worthwhile.” I think that while I personally have lived a much different life than the one portrayed so brilliantly by Leguizamo in the movie, he (the character) and I share a common thought process. It is not about us nor is it about our lives, but the next generation. It is less about what I can do for myself and more about what I can leave for my children. Even if it is only my views that I write in this blog. If I can help the next generation get off to a faster start in life by giving them the lessons that I have learned in my years, maybe my life is worthwhile.

Someday

I decided today that I don’t mind getting old as long as I have Rae and Tyler to see me on my way. I look forward to seeing both of them grow as mother and son, I really look forward to that.

Where do we belong?

I met a little Vietnamese girl at a birthday party the other day. She was adopted in Vietnam at about 10 months old. I am very happy that she was adopted, as life for the poor in Vietnam can be difficult to say the least. I am also sad for the little girl. Being a nice 50/50 blend of Asian and American, I have had a different upbringing than most of my friends. Looking back at my life I feel that I was never really totally comfortable in the company of either Americans or Asians. My name is Tuan, and I am expected to be more Asian than I am by both sides of my heritage. People seem to be wholly unimpressed and somewhat in disbelief when they learn that I don't speak "my native language" whether they can speak it or not. More than one conversation has gone as follows: "Do you speak Vietnamese?" (my reply)"No." "Why not?" (my reply)"Why don't you speak it?" "Cause I am not Vietnamese." (my reply)"Neither am I, my father is." That said, I don't really consider myself Asian, but I definitely don't consider myself Caucasian. So it has been hard at times, especially in my early teen years. I wonder how that little girl will adjust, as she is 100% Asian, but will have 0% Vietnamese influence in her life. I guess that I am kind of assuming things about her parents, but even if they do a far better job at blending their heritage with hers than I think they will, she will probably still feel out of place in both situations (maybe more so than I). I mean I totally agree that that little girl is better off in the situation that she is in. I also feel strongly that her parents love her and will do their best to give her every opportunity to learn of her heritage, but she'll probably struggle with the way she looks vs the way she feels for her whole life and that is what makes me a little sad. "Dragon The Bruce Lee Story" is probably the best movie that I have seen that describes this identity struggle. There is a scene where Bruce's wife is talking to her mother about dating an Asian and the awkwardness of having "yellow babies". So see the movie and know that there is another perspective that is rarely portrayed or represented..........that of the child. Obviously I am all for interracial marriages and mixed race children, I just want to put it out that not everyone is comfortable with who they are, or where they are from so just accept us for what we are.........





My name is Tuan D Nguyen.


I am from Casco Maine.


I eat a lot of rice and a lot of red hot dogs.


I am good at math and I speak english as a first (and only) language.


I was raised in a Protestant/Catholic/Buddist home.


My name is Tuan D Nguyen and I am just like you.

Super Dad

See the movie Unbreakable starring Bruce Willis and Sam Jackson. Sometimes that is just how I feel. I feel as though something is not right. I feel that I was meant to do something more. I feel "that something" is Tyler. I feel as though the missing thing in my life is and has been Tyler. I pledge to do my best to teach him everything that I have found to be the truth and hope that he achieves the satisfaction with life that he has given me. I am not a superhero, though sometimes I feel that I must have superpowers and that I just don’t know how to use them yet, but I am a father. I have so much respect for my father that he is a superhero in my mind. I hope that I can be that for Ty. I hope that I can be so good and do so well as my father has done and continues to do. This is what he does for me, even at 6 months old, he makes me a father, a superhero. So see the movie Unbreakable and know that is how I look at my father, and how I dream that Tyler will look at me.

On second thought

So, I am not really as inspired today as I have been in the past few entries. But here goes…. I often find myself looking back on my life and on the decisions that I have made. I try to relate where I am and where I see myself heading to particular decisions that I have made, mostly to try to relate situations to results. I think that I have become good at this, and usually make a decision based on the result that I know will come to be. That said, I can’t see where I am heading. I have been struggling with what to do next to get me to where I want to be. But where is that? I am where I want to be. I love my wife, I love my son, I love my family, I love my job, I love my dogs, I like my house……. So what do I do to stay here. I now realize that I have never had to make decisions based on that principle. What do I do to stay right where I am? How do I keep what I have without moving as moving, even ahead, will bring me to a place that I am not currently at, because where I am is where I want to be. On second thought maybe the secret of life is how to stay happy when you are happy. I mean doing nothing will only deteriorate my situation, and doing something will set me on a new course……. So how do I stay. Huh. Maybe I will figure it out, maybe I will try to figure it out for the rest of my days, either way time won’t help me, because I am happy today, and tomorrow will come regardless of what I do.

To each his own

http://www.unicorn-cove.com/index.html

Their commercials got me to visit their site. I just wish they had more pictures, cause the commercials are awesome!! (or not awesome depending on your sense of humor)

what its all about

The meaning of life, or something like that. I have been having conversations with a friend a few times a week for several weeks. We got onto the topic of life and religion (as he is religious). He appreciated the "do what ever you want, whatever makes you happy" approach that I have, as not everyone is as open to other people having religious tendencies. But it comes down to this for me.....the meaning of life. I think the sentiment was best described by Bonnie Edwards. Being an inspiration to countless people throughout her life, especially in her over thirty years as a teacher and 31+ years and counting as a mother, Bonnie is someone that might actually know the meaning of life. During a BBQ at "camp" she was looking around at the family and friends that had assembled and said to me "I think this is what it is all about, you know?" And I did know. Life is about friends, family, tradition and the passing of these things onto the next generation. Personally, I take my life experiences and make what I liked a tradition. For example I like to have Chef Boyardee pizza every Christmas eve. I have had it every Christmas eve for as long as I can remember. This Christmas eve I will be enjoying it at home with my wife and my son. Back to my point, I think that if you need organized religion to achieve the feeling of friends, family, tradition, or general well-being then go get Jesus or Muhammad or Jehovah God or the Tooth Fairy and have at it. I am happy that you have that in your life, because I know that I am happy for what I have in my life.

Pete and Pete

If you haven't seen it.......poop on you.

I was just thinking of my childhood, as I usually do when playing with Tyler. And I got to thinking of television and the silly "good parent TV limits" that are so popular today. My brother and I weren't given tv limits. But I don't remember prefering to stay in and watch it over going outside and playing. How did kids' TV habits go from saturday morning and a few miscelaneous hours after school to needing parents to set limits on what is on and when TV is watched. And most importantly if TV is limited to 30 minutes or an hour per day, how do the children get to see their favorite Sox players win in the 13th inning (also applies to bedtimes).

On a side note, I have fond memories of watching TV with my brother. From Wile E Coyote vs Road Runner, Buggs, and Marvin saturday mornings to Inspector Gadget weekend afternoons at the grandparents to after school Pete and Pete, we watched and learned valuable life lessons in these TV sessions. I mean really how else are kids supposed to learn where Mr. Frosty (the ice cream truck driver) goes in the off season, or hear how Arnie The Strongest Man In The World wins his battles with the bees, or how if you don't get that delicious frozen summer drink "Soon you will be like Cheese Boy: melty, melty, melty!"

Insurance

So a few events in my life have started coming together to form another opinion. I saw a movie that poses as a documentary "Darwin Awards". It is not exactly a statement against insurance companies though it does express some dislike for the business. Whether you have had good or bad experiences with insurance you can all agree that it is expensive and rarely worth the cost. When my house was robbed as well as when The Mad Monkey was robbed, I had to file an insurance claim. In both cases the insurance did not cover what was taken, what was supposedly covered by the insurance that I had been paying for. Both left a bad taste for insurance. Several years ago a friend broke his arm and I brought him to the specialist to have xrays and to get a cast. After the 35-40 minute visit to the doctor he was given a bill to pay as he didnt have insurance........2000+ friggin dollars. After informing the doctor of his situation, the bill was magically reduced to 385 dollars. We were informed that insurance companies only pay a percentage of bills. And most recently I have been dealing with an insurance company over illegal cutting of trees on my property. I met the claim adjuster at my home. During the conversation he said "It is a nice day. I am glad to escape the cubicle farm for the afternoon. 26 years in insurance and I get to spend my days in a cubicle. The business has really changed in the past decade, and not for the better." These things have lead me to the inevitable conclusion that insurance is fraud. The term insurance fraud has been pinned to the recipient of the money, but has yet been used to describe CEOs or companies peddling this intangeable to the people least likely to need or use it. So the next time you send in your payment, know that when you need them they wont be there to help you. They will however question your motive for filing the claim, flat out refuse to pay what is right and just, fill your days with endless phone tag, and all the while be typing up a form letter that 100% of their "customers" will receive regarding the 20% increase in premium due to the increased cost of providing that necessary evil.

Kids and Kid Stuff

For those of you that don't know me that well, I have an issue with age appropriate television and hobbies. I also tend to lean toward extremely Asian pastimes. Yo-Yo and anime are a couple of them. I also enjoy collecting trading cards. It all started with Yu-Gi-Oh. I collected them for about 6 months, then sold them for an obscene profit. I now have Naruto trading cards. I am getting close to putting them on ebay, in hopes of another big profit. The craziest part of all of it is that I don't start out collecting to make money on ebay, it just works like that in the end. So here's to making money off the children of the world, because if Wal-Mart and Nike can do it, why not me.

Check this movie out!!!

So I recently inherited a few hours of netflix movies a month to be viewed online. I thought I'd check out what they had for movies available and was immediately sucked in. There was a movie titled "He Died With A Felafel In His Hand". I couldn't resist.......and I am so glad for that. This is one of the best movies that I have seen in a while. Very deep, entertaining, and thought provolking. I personally have learned these lessons in life, but there are many people out there that will really benefit from this movie masterpiece, and you will be entertained. So go out and rent it, then drop me a line as I am looking forward to talking to someone else that has been blessed by the felafel movie.

Story #1

During the holiday break of some elementary school year, my brother T.C., Matt and Eric (friends), and I were walking through the woods as we usually did. I don’t recall now why T.C.’s scarf was left in the woods, but that is not the point. T.C. bet Eric that he could do some card trick and if successful, Eric had to walk back out into the woods and get the scarf. Being the friend to us that he was, he went out in the storm, through the snow, and brought the scarf to our house. Eric was a good person and a great friend. He always called to say happy new year on the Chinese new year, even years after we parted ways via social circles. I guess what I want to get across in this is that old friends are worth calling even if only to say "I still think of you, and thanks for having been my friend."
I strive to be like Eric was, or at least the way I remember him being.