Just the guys

HEY! ANYBODY THERE?

Yeah it's been a couple weeks, but whatever. In case you don't know, this week it is just me and the little guy at the house. Rae was dragged kicking and screaming off to DC for work. So that leaves us. Tyler is still too young to understand what 4 days really means. It isn't 1, and it isn't 2 (which only means more than one). It is 4. He asked me earlier "Mama?" and I gave the patented response "Huh?". It is what is best to figure out the boy's mood. If he tells me that she went bye bye then he is good. Anyway, he went to the door and pointed to her car, "Mama car?" Yup, that's her car buddy. "Mama?" Again I replied "Huh?", a bit worried he was going to have an I need mama breakdown. "OOOH! bye buh." Yeah bud, but she went on a train to work. It is usually just she went to work, but I was hoping that differentiating between on a train to work and just to work might make explaining it to him later a bit easier to understand. He gave me the most puzzled look. So I guess he picked up on that little hint of something is different. Then just as loud as he could, and with the biggest smile he goes..."MAMA WOO HOOOO! HAHAHAHA MAMA WOO WOOOOO!" Let's hope the enthusiasm of Mama on a train continues throughout the duration of this first time away from Rae for more than the usual work day.

On another note, I think I may have come off as pissed about Tyler's incident. I know that people mean well when they ask about him, I just wish they would think before they spoke. I mean what if I went around saying "Oh, what happened?" and when the random stranger asked me "What are you talking about" I said "Oh you poor things. Is it genes or a thyroid problem, or just a twinkie issue? Because I feel bad that your kid is morbidly obese, and I want to make you uncomfortable talking about it as I am a total stranger and I know that my pity on your children for their fatness will make you feel better." Think about it, that's all I am asking.

Please feel free to ask...

Ok so not everyone got it. So here are a few FAQ's that I will answer for you all.

Will he have a scar?
Yes.

Like bad scarring....or?
Yes horribly disfiguring, can't tell if it's still a person or "The Fly"

seriously?
Yup, thanks for asking.

What kind of dog was it? (I have 3 answers to this one)
1. Pit bull, why do you ask? Are they usually known to be aggressive? Huh. news to me.
2. I can't be sure, what kind of dog jumps out of a tree whistling "Dixie" and snapping at children?
3. THE REAL ANSWER: doesn't really matter does it?

You don't think this is the only trip to the emergency room for you guys, having a little boy and all?
No, I know, but it had better be the only trip that involves emergency plastic surgery on his face. Thanks for your concern.

Maybe the not smart questions and comments come from not knowing how serious it really was. I have tried to explain it without going into too much detail, but the next stupid question gets all of the details. I assure you that you don't want to be that guy.

Week From Hell

Well it's Sunday, and Sunday is the end of the week as far as I am concerned. This week has sucked. Nah, sucked doesn't really work for me. It was just junk.

Monday was normal. Tuesday was fishing day. I went, with Casey, to Trip lake or pond or whatever. No fish pond more like it. Then, as usual, my phone rang at a few minutes past 8pm. But it wasn't my wife letting me know that she was on her way home and asking if I were close to coming home. It was my father in law. Tyler was crying in the background, and Rae was yelling "Just tell him to meet me at the hospital."

Tyler had been bitten by a dog. If you know Rae then you know that she can make things sound worse than they are. But this time was different, she was calm. "The ambulance is here and we have to wait for someone else to come to ride in the back with us. Just go to the hospital, we'll meet you there." I asked how bad it was. "It's fucking bad, hurry up."

When I got to Maine Medical Center, I was shown to some sort of xray room or something. I wondered for about half a second why they weren't in the waiting room. Then I opened the door............

My little man was wounded. Not hurt, wounded. He was sitting all tuff with blood all over his tiny chest. Not a tear in sight. I can't be sure that I was breathing, but I didn't black out so I must have been getting oxygen somehow. When the shock of seeing my little boy in that condition dulled, I asked him if he had a boo boo. "yes" *pointing to his head* I gave him a kiss on his head.

When I went to the bathroom, I heard the doctors say something about calling in the plastic surgeon, I gave them my opinion. "Yeah, hurry up and get him here."

I don't know how long it was, it seemed like hours, but it seemed like minutes at the same time. The next thing I know, Dr. Vaughan(sp?) was in and talking about surgery and going under anesthesia and problems / concerns. I signed a bunch of stuff and my little guy was rolled into the OR waiting room. He was finally given some meds around 10:30. A bunch of more questions and more signing, and he was rolled off with Rae to have emergency plastic surgery on his little face.

The last place Rae or I would have ever guessed we would be is Barbra Bush Children's Hospital. But that's where we were. What the fuck just happened? How did we get here?

I had accepted what happened almost immediately. The hard part of all of this is that my little man has been in so much pain. Wednesday he had some swelling, and a bit of a black eye. Thursday he looked like he had gone 12 championship rounds with Mike Tyson, but he gave us a smile. Friday he told me that bees were in his head. I can only assume that he had a headache. Saturday I asked if he was feeling ok. "no, owie" *pointing to his left cheek* And today, Sunday, he has been touching his cheek and asking for kisses. He touches his not hurt cheek then his stitched up one then the ok one again. He knows.

The first time he walked by a mirror, he froze and just looked. It was when his left eye was almost completely swollen shut. He did his Family Guy "SSSSSSSssss, aaaaahhhhhhh. Ssssssss oooooowwwwwwwwww......... ssss aaahhhhhh. All while pointing at his bandages.

Tyler is going to be ok. The surgeon said that he was happy with how the surgery went. The important muscles, nerves, salivary ducts, eye, and tendons seemed to be ok. He is improving in mood everyday, and will no doubt be back to his old self after this ordeal faster than his mother or I will.

Now my pet peeves of the whole situation.

1. Don't assume that you have ever been hurt as badly. Falling off your bike when you were 12 wasn't as bad.
2. Don't ask what type of dog it was. I guarantee you that neither Rae nor I would throw Ty into a caged ring with a rabid pit bull. One of the nurses asked if it was an aggressive dog. I think I snapped at her when I said "Does it matter? No it doesn't."
3. We already know that he is going to have a scar. Your pointing it out won't be news to us, it only makes you an asshole.

It has been so long

When I was just a little kid, I was at the playground (across from my Grandmother's house on Clark Street) with my brother and my Uncle Mike. Some guy walking by yelled "Hey what are you doing hanging out with those gooks?" My Uncle went over and punched the guy in the face a couple times. Later that day the guy was riding his bike past the house and my Uncle Robert ran out, dove Superman style, and clothes lined the guy right off his bike. Then he punched him in the face a lot of times.

Maybe it didn't happen, maybe I didn't notice, either way I never had an experience of racism in elementary school. I think maybe it's because I was in a small school in a small town. Maybe it is because everyone knew me as long as they could remember. Maybe they were just really secretive and didn't say anything to my face. I guess it only matters that I never felt that I was any different. I never felt that my Dad was any different than anyone else's Dad. Until middle school. See our "junior high" was where kids from other schools really came together. Add to that it's when you hit puberty and being different is the last thing you wanted to be, and BAM! I am half Asian. Didn't bother me. Didn't seem to bother anyone else either. I just never saw it that way, but I had become aware that other people did. The best way I can describe it is..... I never referred to Tim as the black kid, and not in an effort to be P.C. I just don't see the world that way.

Anyway, I was at work tonight, washing the windows. Actually I had just finished and was emptying the bucket of water when a crappy white / primer / rusty Plymouth came around the corner and headed down the row that I was in. The car was going pretty slow for a car in an empty parking lot. I looked up to see 4 guys in the car. The guy sitting in the back on the driver's side yelled to me "Hey learn English MOFO." Learn English MOFO? What the hell do you say to that? All I had was "Just as soon as you move out of your Mama's trailer, jackass."

This is the first time that I have admitted it, but I am very happy that Tyler has light brown hair and blue eyes. Because people are frustrating enough in their general stupidity, throw in their ignorance when it comes to other races and it's.... well it's more angst than I want for my children.

random randomness

You know how I like to see who visits my blog and how they come to find it? Well anyway, I like it. Today.... technically yesterday, but my day hasn't ended yet, so... today, someone visited this blog after googling "Steven Tyler". Huh. That person sucks at picking search results. I mean I haven't ever posted about "Steven Tyler". Steven.... yes. Tyler..... yes. But Steven Tyler no. I think it is Stephen Tyler that the person was looking for anyway.

So I will write about Stephen Tyler. Yes I have a Stephen Tyler story!! And no he had nothing to do with my story personally. But just for fun, here you go...

I can't remember why we were going to Boston, but Rae, Dan, Josh? and I. Ok now my brain quit me. Did Josh come? Who went on that trip? Why were we even going? Oh we went to the museum. Science Museum. Maybe. You know what, none of that has anything to do with Stephen Tyler or anything really. Point being, Dan and I were in a car for several hours in one day. We decided that it would be a good idea to play 20 questions. So on my turn I chose "green". Think about it. Green, is it a person, place or thing? No. Noun? No. Anyway, Dan didn't get it. So I won. I then picked Stephen Tyler. He didn't get it. Then it was my turn again, so I went with Stephen Tyler...... he didn't get it again. But the third time was the charm, HAHAHAHA I didn't really go for a third time, but thinking back I should have. OH!! Just so all the readers know, I am the champion of 20 questions. On one of Dan's turns, I guessed "James Earl Jones's testicles". How I got there and how Dan picked that escape me, but I got it in 20 questions, so that makes me the champion.

You just wouldn't understand

I heard on the news that a man drowned in the Saco River in Hiram Tuesday. That man was 33 year old Stephen Hawkes. But this story starts over 20 years ago.

In the 80's lots of things were commonplace, mullets, rat tails, corvettes, and "heavy metal" to name a few. But there were also many things that were really quite rare. Asians in the Lake Region school system was one of those rarities. Being 2 years older than I, we didn't hang out a lot as kids. But living less than half a mile from each other and riding the same school bus, not to mention being the only non-relative asian at school, we knew each other well enough. I remember the first time I went to Steve's house, it was a split like mine. Their "basement" was finished and if my memory serves me, that's where Steve's room was, maybe not, but I think so. It had brown carpet just like my living room. I felt at home when I was around Steve, he had a big caricature-like smile. His older sister was my little sister's swim instructor. His Mom walked past our house, for exercise, most every nice day. But he was the other Asian guy at the school, and that is a strange indescribable bond that I won't even try to explain.

I ran into Steve a few times after he graduated, and even more rarely after I graduated. Whenever we saw each other we took time to say hello, and ask how each other was, what had happened since we last saw each other, the usual. The difference was I actually cared. I cared that he was ok. I cared that he was well. I always left saying good for Steve. I always wished good things to him.

When I heard that he died, it didn't hit me really fast. But as time goes by it hurts a bit more. I don't know if it is that crazy Asian bond, or the fact that we have walked a similar path in life, even though we weren't close enough to each other to have the others life affect the path of the our own.

It was almost five years since I had seen him that I ran into Steve at work. He was a selector at the Hannaford Brothers Distribution Center. So was I. He didn't finish college, neither did I. But most recently it was last week that I ran into Steve. While grocery shopping, I parked Tyler beside the potatoes to get over to the bananas. Just as I was bagging a nice bunch, a little Asian girl ran over to Tyler and started playing with his shoes. Not far behind was her father....Steve. We caught up really fast as the kids were not cooperating, and it was good to see him with his 2 year old daughter and his expecting wife. I thought "Good for you Steve" as we said good bye.

And I think that is why it bothers me so much. It could be me. It could be me that doesn't get to see my kids grow up. I wished better than that for my only Asian childhood friend. I hope his little girl Rachael is old enough to have a few memories of her dad, because he was a good guy and he deserves to be remembered.

"It was nice to see you again Tuan."
"It was really good to see you too Steve."

If you know me then...

Well then you know I love insurance like I love smashing my little toe into the bedpost at 2am. I picked up the insurance on my LG chocolate back when I first got it. I mostly grabbed it because I had destroyed several phones in a matter of 2 months. You know how it goes, on the picnic table during a thunder storm, smash it with a 5000 pound pallet jack, the usual. Anyway, my awesome phone just up and kicked it the other day. First the white screen of death, then the battery decided to have a charge life of about an hour if I didn't use it. Insurance claim here I come. Well it was actually a really easy process, and the "new phone" arrived less than 24 hours from when I submitted the claim. Can you say "Hong Kong Black Market". It is such a cheap ripoff of what I insured. It might be like getting a Blackberry Pearl in exchange for your iPhone. It is shiny, and phone like, but just isn't right. So once again I say "GO SCREW INSURANCE ASS FACES. I hate you and everything you stand for." Oh and if you have phone insurance.... cancel it, it just isn't worth it.