Ninjas

My middle-eastern friend Josh sent me this:

School locked down after 'ninja' sighted in woods
June 25, 2008
BARNEGAT, N.J.—It's the case of the nonexistent ninja. Public schools in Barnegat were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school.
Turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword.
Police tell the Asbury Park Press the man was late to a costume-themed day at a nearby middle school.
The lockdown began shortly after 9 a.m. Wednesday and lasted until 9:30.


Ok, so first of all someone reported seeing a ninja..... not a person dressed like a ninja, but a ninja. So that came in from a second grader, or an idiot. Second, if it had been a real ninja the authorities would all be dead.... not proper dealing with ninja procedures over there. You should NEVER try to apprehend a ninja if you are not a ninja yourself. Third, how would locking down the school protect anyone from ninja attack? That's right it wouldn't. Everyone knows that to avoid being killed by a ninja one has to become a ninja. So everyone should have taken out their white ninja suits and prepared for battle. Seeing hundreds of white ninjas the lone black ninja would have to retreat and bring his entire clan in for battle. This would have given the school ample time to evacuate the children to a safer, ninja proofed location, AKA at home,under their covers.

You can read more about protecting yourself from ninja attacks in my new book "Protecting Yourself From Ninja Attacks: A Quick Refrence Guide To Ninja Defense At Home Or On The Road". The book is due out this summer, reserve your copies in advance by emailing your request to tuan@ninjabooks.org.