Thursday, May 1, 2008
Forest, Forest Gump
Due to circumstances beyond my control I am forced to write about life and love today. "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." I half agree with that analogy. Life can be compared to a box of chocolates, but because you know exactly what you are going to get. Yup. That shit is labeled. You choose which box to buy, where to buy it, how much is in the box. You read the label and you pick the candy that you want. Just like life. Everything currently in your life is there because you chose for it to be there. While you can't predict exactly when things will happen you can expect there will be rainy days and that the sun will come out again. You can expect to love and be loved, just as you can expect heartache. You can expect that people will come and go as frequently as you do in other peoples lives. When you take a new job, you have to consider the fact that you will lose friends from the old job. It is not just a matter of starting in a new place, meeting new people, figuring out a new boss's requirements, and feeling more vulnerable about job security. My main purpose for writing this is to say that love is no different than any other part of your life. It all comes down to a decision. You decide to hold people close. You decide to let others love you, just as you decide to let people stop loving you. You also decide to fall in love and to "fall out of love" with people. Every single decision you make will affect your life in some way, maybe big... maybe small. So, go out today and remember to make good decisions based on your goals of where you want your life to go.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
These Are Days
I titled this post in honour of Josh's "Coming of age in the 90's" post. Not to mention the fact that these are days we'll remember. As Tyler is just the right height to walk to the bottom stair and sit on it to rest. As he is currently walking around the house randomly covering his eyes with his hands and saying "Dada...hmmmmm..hmm hmm?" While he is walking in circles in the living room with a yard stick that is a solid 7 inches taller than he is tap tap tapping it on the floor as he announces "tap tap tap" in case I wasn't sure what he was doing. As he is going about his business of removing everything from it's proper place and giving it a new home on the floor, all I can think of is "These Are Days".
Oh and bonus points to those of you that know the title reference.
Oh and bonus points to those of you that know the title reference.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I am getting older.
When did it happen? When did that single pure white hair start growing on my head? When did my first thought become "Be careful you'll poke your eye out" when I see a kid playing with a stick. How did I get to this place in life where my road rage rant includes the words "FUCKING TEEN DRIVERS!!!" I guess I am getting older. I recently decided that you aren't old until your kids say "I am getting old." So I think I have a while yet until I earn the title of "old guy", but it's getting closer than I would like it to be.
I could go into a rant about how you are only as old as you let yourself be. Maybe throw out an example of old people doing great things despite their age. Like that 100 year old guy that ran in the NY marathon. Or maybe give some insight into how things get better with age. But then I would have to talk about my love of the "old guy" drink...... single malt scotch on the rocks. So I will just leave it. I will be 31 in a few weeks. 31. Thirty one. Remember when 25 was old. I would too, if my memory weren't shot.
Just so you know, I have to make a doctors appointment...... to get checked for RA. FUCKING arthritis!!! Ahh sheyat, I am old.
I could go into a rant about how you are only as old as you let yourself be. Maybe throw out an example of old people doing great things despite their age. Like that 100 year old guy that ran in the NY marathon. Or maybe give some insight into how things get better with age. But then I would have to talk about my love of the "old guy" drink...... single malt scotch on the rocks. So I will just leave it. I will be 31 in a few weeks. 31. Thirty one. Remember when 25 was old. I would too, if my memory weren't shot.
Just so you know, I have to make a doctors appointment...... to get checked for RA. FUCKING arthritis!!! Ahh sheyat, I am old.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Life's little lessons
Everyone that has known me for years knows about the infamous relationships I have with my uncles. For sure they have had a huge influence on the man that I am today. They taught me to drive a 5 speed......through the streets of Portland....... at the age of 10. I learned that if you want to catch striped bass, you may need to go fishing at 2 am. I learned how to make a pipe bomb and what said pipe bomb would do to a 55 gallon metal barrel. But something you may not know about is the equally influential relationships with my aunts.
When I was 5, I was at my grandmother's house on Clark street in Portland. My aunt Tammy came into the kitchen where I was with my mom and grandmother. "I am going to the store" she said. "Where did you get money?" my Grandmother asked. "Does Tuan want to go too?" my aunt asked, totally ignoring her mothers barking interrogation. I vividly remember how the city smelled of melting pavement as we walked the half block to the store. We laughed at the place in the sidewalk where this stream of water that shot out of a crack in the concrete that more encouraged the bricks to stay in place than hold them there. "Look the sidewalk is peeing." she told me. I can remember looking at all of the penny candy wishing I had some money too. She asked what I would buy if I had money. I pointed to the Bazooka Joe grape gum. "Is that your favorite?" she asked. Oh and it was. "Who is your favorite aunt?......well if I buy you some of that will I be your favorite aunt?" "Yes" I said. "Are you sure it is your favorite?" Yup I was absolutely sure. She bought me 5 pieces of gum because I was 5. The store owner gave us ice cream sandwiches because it was so hot out. We went out and ate the sandwiches. Tammy gave me the 5 pieces of gum and said "I will always remember that this is your favorite gum if you always remember that I am your favorite aunt."
For years, whenever we went to visit her, she would pull me aside when no one else was looking and give me a piece of Bazooka Joe. But I couldn't tell anyone because it was the only one she had. It wasn't till I was 12 or 13 that my brother asked where I got gum. What? Doesn't she do that to each of us? Am I really the only one? Huh. When I was 16 or 17 I was in Portland with a friend. He had to stop at his uncles to drop something off for his mother. Aunt Tammy lived around the corner at the time, so I walked over to say hi. When she answered the door she smiled her big smile and gave me a hug. She asked the usual questions and if I wanted to come in. I let her know that I couldn't stay, just wanted to say hi. "Wait right here, I have something for you" she said. She came back with a single piece of Bazooka Joe. "It's still your favorite right?" Sure it was. We said goodbye in the same old way, and I left. I don't even want to venture a guess as to how long she had been saving that piece of gum for me, but I guess it was never really about how delicious the gum was. I wondered if when she gave hugs goodbye to my brother, sister, and cousins she also whispered to them that they were her favorite? Or was it just me? Just me. JUST ME!!!!
While my uncles may have taught me to play pinball, how to blow stuff up, how the "emergency brake" isn't just for emergencies, and how driving in hurricanes and blizzards is more fun than driving any other time. It was my aunt Tammy that taught me how to feel special. Really special. And how to make someone else feel like seeing them is what just you've been waiting for to make your day perfect.
When I was 5, I was at my grandmother's house on Clark street in Portland. My aunt Tammy came into the kitchen where I was with my mom and grandmother. "I am going to the store" she said. "Where did you get money?" my Grandmother asked. "Does Tuan want to go too?" my aunt asked, totally ignoring her mothers barking interrogation. I vividly remember how the city smelled of melting pavement as we walked the half block to the store. We laughed at the place in the sidewalk where this stream of water that shot out of a crack in the concrete that more encouraged the bricks to stay in place than hold them there. "Look the sidewalk is peeing." she told me. I can remember looking at all of the penny candy wishing I had some money too. She asked what I would buy if I had money. I pointed to the Bazooka Joe grape gum. "Is that your favorite?" she asked. Oh and it was. "Who is your favorite aunt?......well if I buy you some of that will I be your favorite aunt?" "Yes" I said. "Are you sure it is your favorite?" Yup I was absolutely sure. She bought me 5 pieces of gum because I was 5. The store owner gave us ice cream sandwiches because it was so hot out. We went out and ate the sandwiches. Tammy gave me the 5 pieces of gum and said "I will always remember that this is your favorite gum if you always remember that I am your favorite aunt."
For years, whenever we went to visit her, she would pull me aside when no one else was looking and give me a piece of Bazooka Joe. But I couldn't tell anyone because it was the only one she had. It wasn't till I was 12 or 13 that my brother asked where I got gum. What? Doesn't she do that to each of us? Am I really the only one? Huh. When I was 16 or 17 I was in Portland with a friend. He had to stop at his uncles to drop something off for his mother. Aunt Tammy lived around the corner at the time, so I walked over to say hi. When she answered the door she smiled her big smile and gave me a hug. She asked the usual questions and if I wanted to come in. I let her know that I couldn't stay, just wanted to say hi. "Wait right here, I have something for you" she said. She came back with a single piece of Bazooka Joe. "It's still your favorite right?" Sure it was. We said goodbye in the same old way, and I left. I don't even want to venture a guess as to how long she had been saving that piece of gum for me, but I guess it was never really about how delicious the gum was. I wondered if when she gave hugs goodbye to my brother, sister, and cousins she also whispered to them that they were her favorite? Or was it just me? Just me. JUST ME!!!!
While my uncles may have taught me to play pinball, how to blow stuff up, how the "emergency brake" isn't just for emergencies, and how driving in hurricanes and blizzards is more fun than driving any other time. It was my aunt Tammy that taught me how to feel special. Really special. And how to make someone else feel like seeing them is what just you've been waiting for to make your day perfect.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Acknowledgement
In case you didn't know, I love the manga and anime Naruto. I recently saw Bicentennial Man. Both are about the search for acknowledgement from their peers. I realized, during Bicentennial Man, that I don't understand that drive. I know people that share that drive with the main characters, but I don't get it. I can liken my inability to understand why the search for acknowledgement drives some people to my inability to understand why people worship gods. I know that people have their reasons, but none of them seem valid to me. So that small summary of thought has brought us to today, where I am wondering...... what drives me?
Monday, March 3, 2008
Research project
I need a favor from anyone that reads this blog and is an at home parent. Drop me an email if you'd like to help me figure some stuff out about it.
For those of you that don't have kids, or aren't the at home parent.....I offer you the following:
I get up everyday in very much the same way, eyes pried open and head peeled off the pillow in a 10 minute battle of will. My wife always wins and I get up. I see her off as I refill my coffee cup. I spend the next 3 ish hours making conversation with what amounts to myself as Tyler knows too few words to keep the conversation going past the first few seconds. I have been experiencing a few new "fun games" lately. He asks for a kiss then steals my glasses right off my face. We play trucks till I can't see straight and then we have a snack, usually fruit and cheese. While the dogs clean up the mess, we try to learn how to put toys in the toy box. Then it's time to read. It is a good way to wind down toward nap time. I have come to the conclusion, in the past year, that the "hard work" that people talk about (referring to raising kids) is in reference to the ability to keep up the enthusiasm when reading "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss 10 times in a row. Nap. And by nap I mean prep dinner, do the dishes, pick up the toys that can't seem to keep themselves in their box, feed the dogs, feed myself, get lunch ready (for the boy), shower or do laundry or run outside with the dogs. Naps over... Time for my favorite daily activity. Barely awake Tyler always says "Yeah" when asked if he had a good nap. Then he says "I wannn dat" as he lazily points to our bed. I put him on the Queen sized bed, which must seem as though it's an island of puffy comfort to the little guy. He rolls around and stretches and asks me to name everything he points at. When he is ready to get up he points at the door and says "woof woof", time to go see the girls. After a very excitable one sided reunion he throws half his lunch around the dining room while he eats the other half. When we get cleaned up from that it's back to playing on the floor and talking to myself till it's time to cook dinner.
I know reading that sounds unfun, maybe even boring but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Maybe just that one day when Tyler took a shot at ensuring his status as only child, with a rolling pin.
For those of you that don't have kids, or aren't the at home parent.....I offer you the following:
I get up everyday in very much the same way, eyes pried open and head peeled off the pillow in a 10 minute battle of will. My wife always wins and I get up. I see her off as I refill my coffee cup. I spend the next 3 ish hours making conversation with what amounts to myself as Tyler knows too few words to keep the conversation going past the first few seconds. I have been experiencing a few new "fun games" lately. He asks for a kiss then steals my glasses right off my face. We play trucks till I can't see straight and then we have a snack, usually fruit and cheese. While the dogs clean up the mess, we try to learn how to put toys in the toy box. Then it's time to read. It is a good way to wind down toward nap time. I have come to the conclusion, in the past year, that the "hard work" that people talk about (referring to raising kids) is in reference to the ability to keep up the enthusiasm when reading "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss 10 times in a row. Nap. And by nap I mean prep dinner, do the dishes, pick up the toys that can't seem to keep themselves in their box, feed the dogs, feed myself, get lunch ready (for the boy), shower or do laundry or run outside with the dogs. Naps over... Time for my favorite daily activity. Barely awake Tyler always says "Yeah" when asked if he had a good nap. Then he says "I wannn dat" as he lazily points to our bed. I put him on the Queen sized bed, which must seem as though it's an island of puffy comfort to the little guy. He rolls around and stretches and asks me to name everything he points at. When he is ready to get up he points at the door and says "woof woof", time to go see the girls. After a very excitable one sided reunion he throws half his lunch around the dining room while he eats the other half. When we get cleaned up from that it's back to playing on the floor and talking to myself till it's time to cook dinner.
I know reading that sounds unfun, maybe even boring but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Maybe just that one day when Tyler took a shot at ensuring his status as only child, with a rolling pin.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
The Roof
OOPS!! I have neglected the roof of the garage this winter.....my bad. So after the washing machine repair guy came and went, I put Tyler in his bed for a nap. He is good for about an hour, sometimes way more and sometimes way WAY less than that, but I had a pretty good feeling about the level of tiredness of the boy and decided that I should get some of that snow off the roof of the garage. So I put on the snow pants and boots.
Yup.
Three feet of snow up there.
Look at that.
As I stood there looking, I pondered whether or not to shovel it or try the snow blower. Nah the snow blower is too heavy to lift up there, or is it? Only one way to find out. Nope not too heavy. Hmmmm..... I better shovel off a spot to put it and get it started. Now there are two questions left unanswered.....
1. Will this "snow blower" be able to cut through the several crusty layers of snow?
2. If it does will it throw the shingles across my yard as well?
One way to find out.... So I put the machine on the roof in the spot I had cleared and pulled the start cord. Out of gas. Shovel it is.
Yup.
Three feet of snow up there.
Look at that.
As I stood there looking, I pondered whether or not to shovel it or try the snow blower. Nah the snow blower is too heavy to lift up there, or is it? Only one way to find out. Nope not too heavy. Hmmmm..... I better shovel off a spot to put it and get it started. Now there are two questions left unanswered.....
1. Will this "snow blower" be able to cut through the several crusty layers of snow?
2. If it does will it throw the shingles across my yard as well?
One way to find out.... So I put the machine on the roof in the spot I had cleared and pulled the start cord. Out of gas. Shovel it is.
Friday, February 22, 2008
more favorite quotes
"you have passed annoying me....you are actually kind of funny"
Isn't that the truth. I feel that there is a fine line between the two.
"Sometimes your fantasies are your fears, and you can't tell anyone."
I can understand that.
"Kids make you grow. You are not ready.... they make you ready. At first you think they are you, then you realize you are just taking care of them as they emerge into these other people."
I just like that. And I like watching as Tyler emerges, everyday.
"I used to think GOD was a security blanket that people held onto because they didn't know where they were going in their life. Or they need that kind of reassurance that there is meaning in their life."
Yup.
"You can't undo what you done. You made mistakes. And son who hasn't made mistakes? You know anybody....huh?"
I don't.
"If you are so miserable today, then it's because you have decided to waste the day. This day is paradise if you choose to think of it as such."
That is a good quote to describe why I don't need god in my life.
These are from the movie "Seed" (2000)
Isn't that the truth. I feel that there is a fine line between the two.
"Sometimes your fantasies are your fears, and you can't tell anyone."
I can understand that.
"Kids make you grow. You are not ready.... they make you ready. At first you think they are you, then you realize you are just taking care of them as they emerge into these other people."
I just like that. And I like watching as Tyler emerges, everyday.
"I used to think GOD was a security blanket that people held onto because they didn't know where they were going in their life. Or they need that kind of reassurance that there is meaning in their life."
Yup.
"You can't undo what you done. You made mistakes. And son who hasn't made mistakes? You know anybody....huh?"
I don't.
"If you are so miserable today, then it's because you have decided to waste the day. This day is paradise if you choose to think of it as such."
That is a good quote to describe why I don't need god in my life.
These are from the movie "Seed" (2000)
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thanks.....really.....we needed another plastic noise maker
It's been so long. So..... a few weeks ago we had a birthday celebration. My boy is one, just ask him. Yeah I thought he should be able to tell everyone how old he is, so I taught him to hold up one finger when asked "Tyler how old are you?" The new toys he received are a welcome change from the monotony of the Christmas batch. Not that I don't appreciate everyones generosity..... but the repetitive static laced beeps and scratchy recorded voices can push a guy over the edge. Oh if anyone works at or knows someone that works for Fisher Price, Mattel, or a similar company......two words VOLUME CONTROL. It might be uber high tech, even beyond comprehension for the average person, but hire an engineer and have them design a friggin dial or slide that controls the volume. While I am on a toy venting kick, how about a damn solar powered children's toy? I think you could make it beep when a button gets pushed using the power of light. We would have spent a small fortune on batteries to keep his toys beeping and scratching if we wanted to keep them beeping and scratching. But no......we don't......must be broken......sorry buddy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
